The Adventures of Gung Ho

What’s going on, I’m Gung Ho. I want to set the record straight and would advise that you refrain from making any sort of calls about my nature, sexual or otherwise 😉

On that note, I want to welcome you to my forum, a place where I’ll shoot from the hip about the wild and wacky wonders of male and female interaction in the name of sexual health. This issue’s topic:


Just as the stock market has some ups and downs, gets inflated, hyped up then shoots blanks, well so has my phallic equipment, literally and figuratively! Riddle me this, straight up: What’s the longest you’ve gone without sex?

Sex defined as interaction with someone other than your hand or toys?  And why would you deprive yourself of such a wonderful contact high? 

Survey says:  1460 days (yup, 4 years plus a 6 month hiatus from shuffling)! So, I’ll say it for you, “What the hell was I thinking?” Because apparently men are thinking about sex on average, once a minute.  Maybe that’s why monks like meditating so much 😉  It’s like constant spiritual orgasms.  Alright, alright, I’m digressing.  So not only did I save millions of lil spermies and a forest of tissue paper but apparently just under a billion not so pure thoughts DID NOT enter my mind!

“The candle of thought lights your name” and it’s loaded like a frikkin runaway freight train pearl jamming into a very dark, black tunnel.  Why would I even partake in something of that nature? Had I become afraid or was I laying the ground for what I’ve now become known as i.e. emotionally unavailable???  Had I realized that sex is overrated and just as fun as the high you get from sugary treats and with the variety available at your corner store why bother with the dating game?

Really though, what did I learn in that time?  About sex?  About me?  Could I do it again, would I do it again??   This is something for me to truly ponder because if you analyze the window of sex opportunity, prime time is late teens to late thirties (and that’s being generous). So, I just waived a good 20% of premium humpty humping! Was I hurting that much back then or what?  I think my first and foremost intent was to clean house and engage in this notion of healing.  I blatantly made a concerted effort not to rebound as I had seen so many of my friends do in similar situations. What transpired in that duration or what I’ve become to this day is without a doubt, influenced by that stage.   

This concept of being emotionally unavailable is actually funny to me.  I have emotions. Plenty of them and they’re all available, from humour to anger to lust. If you want to get finicky and talk about things like being a romantic and wearing my heart on my sleeve or being touchy feely, that is discussion for another themed issue! 

Getting back to this candle of thought that lights your name, indubitably on the walls of my heart there is an asterisk around the time of 1996-97.  It was the beginning of the end and beginning of a new heart for the tin man! Absence did not make the heart grow fonder in this case and exploration into areas of self never left me clicking my heels yearning to go back home.  


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